Friday 24 May 2013

Secrets to a Happy Marriage



I was reading a book the other day about the secrets to a successful, long-lasting and happy marriage.

It’s amazing that after centuries of people coming together in matrimony there are still, apparently, secrets that we do not know about on how to make our marriages happy and successful.

I read with some trepidation and curiosity in order to discover what else I have to learn on the subject.

It seems that the first steps in choosing a partner for life are the most important ones. Marriage is not to be entered into too lightly and one must be careful with whom we pledge to spend the rest of our lives – come sunshine, rain or snow. It is imperative at the outset to decide who will clear the path when the snow is feet deep and blocking your way out.

Love, mutual respect, patience and understanding are obviously very important in a marriage. But just as essential is the fact that one of the spouses should be slightly deaf – preferably the husband.

The choice of spouse is vital not only for reasons of compatibility, shared interests, hopes, values and aspirations. It seems that the occupation and profession of one’s partner plays a major role in the longevity and success of the union.

Statistics prove beyond doubt that archaeologists make the best marriage partners. The older you get the more interested they are in you.

It is of course inevitable that in any marriage arguments will occur sometimes out of the blue and on the most absurd and un-important subjects. The trick is not so much on how to win an argument; if this was at all possible, but to avoid getting into one in the first place.

It’s not a question of capitulating and giving way in the first instance, but choosing which argument is important enough to defend as a matter of principle and which is not worth losing privileges for.

The question of principles is worth dwelling on for a moment or two. Don’t just have one unbreakable principle which you will uphold at the cost of your marriage, happiness, and future livelihood. Be generous. Have plenty of principles; and if one doesn’t work out for you choose another one. No one who is anyone has ever succeeded by having just one principle.

The book also has a chapter about mutual interests and doing things together as a couple which both marriage partners can enjoy.

Now, doing heavy work together like changing the engine oil in the car, tuning the engine, changing the tires and other mechanical tasks may be ideal for certain couples; but personally I’d rather sit back and admire her handiwork and praise her every now and then. Besides, I hate it when the engine oil and dirt gets under my fingernails. It’s a devil of a job to clean when I’m at the manicurist.

In a chapter specifically for men, the book states that women like to be re-assured frequently that they are loved and cherished. Frequently the words “I love you” are not heard as often after the honeymoon, or are used as a pretext to wanting something, like watching the football on TV.

The book suggests that the husband writes down the words “I love you” on a piece of paper which the wife can refer to as often as needed in future. Laminating the piece of paper will ensure its durability, especially if it is the size of a credit card so it can be easily carried in one’s purse or handbag. Drawing a heart, or a flower, (before laminating), will also ensure a successful purpose.

So there you have it … a few secrets to a long, happy and successful marriage. Now where’s my dinner?


17 comments:

  1. Lol!
    Love your humor and love that song.
    Haven't heard it in years.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Madeleine,

      It's great to see you visitng me again. Thank you so much. I'm ever so pleased you enjoyed my story and Tompall's song.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  2. Interesting..."one of the spouses should be slightly deaf - preferably the husband." Now I know what to get my dear husband for his birthday...earplugs! Thank you for the advice!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Hand-Maid,

      I find that selective deafness can be a good thing at times. Thank you for visiting me and taking the time to comment.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. My husband is an archaeologist. I am 66 and we've been married 41 years. He has not shown increased interest in me as I grew older!

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    1. I suspect you still look very young and beautiful and he has not noticed you aging.

      May I suggest you hide under some dirt in the garden and let him "discover" you. Some men are rather slow and need a nudge in the right direction.

      God bless you and your husband.

      Delete
    2. IT WORKED !!! :)

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  4. nice- I would add a sense of humour and take the log out of your own eye before crtizing and trying to take the spec out of your partners eye

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    Replies
    1. You're so right. A sense of humour is essential in a marriage.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. It's a brilliant song isn't it? I bet your husband does actually listen to you Colleen.

    God bless you both.

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  6. Funny as always. I have jotted these down and laminated them for reference!

    God Bless.

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    Replies
    1. So have I Michael. I have a file full of laminated sheets.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  7. God does work in mysterious ways.

    http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=18142394&postID=3223988942289125451&page=1&token=1378348732827

    The above link should explain why I didn't get a chance to finish reading all of the great advice that you've left for me here plus the comments but I did listen to the song and "IT" is one of my favorites and I will be back to finish.

    Long story short some might not think that this song is as great as Mozart http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.ca/ and who are we to argue with them? :)

    Longer story short, my wife of 43 years of marriage is waiting for me to join her in bed so I must bid You all "Fare well".

    God Bless

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    Replies
    1. I suppose Victor we all have different tastes in music as in other things too. I'm so glad you enjoyed this song by Tompall Glaser. It appeals to my sense of humor.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  8. This is such a great post, Victor! Sometimes, it’s not only love that creates a perfect marriage, but those little things you do for your other half. It's those little things you do that show your affection and admiration for your partner everyday. Thanks for sharing!

    Brandi Kennedy @ Restoration Counseling Boise

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    Replies
    1. Well said Brandi. Thank you for visiting me and commenting.

      God bless.

      Delete

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God bless you.