Monday 4 December 2017

AS I QUOTE MYSELF



... ... after the evening meal, my boss, a woman in her early thirties, went up to her room. Before she left the table she asked me discretely to follow her a few minutes later. She gave me a duplicate plastic card to use in that contraption which opens the hotel room door. She said she wanted to discuss my annual appraisal report.

I was hesitant at first. I sipped my coffee slowly to waste time and to gather enough courage to decide what to do. My boss was not one to argue with. When she said, “Jump” we replied, “How high”, rather than question her request – or should I say her command.

A few minutes later I entered her room and it was empty. I said loudly, "Hello ... anyone here?"

Her voice replied from the bathroom, "I'm in the shower. Come in!"

I was astounded and frightened at this request which, as I said earlier, sounded more like a command.

My boss had a certain reputation amongst the office gossip grapevine but I never quite believed it. It seemed that now was the time for me to sample such a reputation.

I did not know what to do, especially since my future career at this firm depended so much on her and her appraisal of me. I hesitated for a while.

"Get a move on," she cried impatiently from the bathroom, "I'm not going to wait all night!"

Those were her exact words; I still remember them clearly. She obviously meant business and my future life flashed in front of my eyes.

I was totally confused. I sought guidance from my abbreviated Catechism which I carried in my pocket but I could not find an answer in a hurry. They really should have a better index in those books.

I took off my jacket and put it on the back of the chair. Then I took off my shoes. I had a big hole in one of my socks!

Before I could go on any further she came out of the bathroom fully clothed and speaking on her cell-phone. Apparently you get a better reception in the shower than anywhere else in her hotel room.

"Why have you taken your shoes off?" she asked.

"I did not want to dirty the carpet!" I replied unconvincingly.

I wonder if she believed me. Fortunately I got a good annual appraisal although she did say I often get the wrong end of the stick.
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AS I QUOTE MYSELF is not a biography of a famous celebrity, or other well known personality telling you how they made it good from extreme poverty to being as successful as they are today. Instead, these are the memoirs of someone you’ve probably never heard of, (unless you’re related to him), but yet with a story to tell.

A series of calamities and misfortunes with humourous outcomes which are sure to make you smile, if not laugh out loud. At least that’s what he hopes! AS I QUOTE MYSELF are the memoirs of no one in particular except the one from whose memories they originate.
*******
FOR MORE HUMOUROUS MISS-ADVENTURES 
BUY THE BOOK
AS I QUOTE MYSELF


6 comments:

  1. Victor, you're making me want to buy ALL your books now! Have to wait, though, for my annual Christmas cash from my mother - lol!
    Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Martha, for your kindness and generosity. Some of my books are FREE from www.holyvisions.co.uk - just download them on your PC. The paperbacks are better because you can take them with you anywhere - difficult to carry your computer everywhere. The Kindle ones are also available. Please tell others about my books - especially the Christian ones as they may help someone somewhere to get to know about God.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. Don't think I have read this one. Will put in my order, post haste.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lulu,

      Yes you have read this one. In fact I am very grateful for your kind and generous customer review on AMAZON about this book. If you have already placed an order then you'll be able to read the book again in stereo - one for each hand. I am very grateful for your support of my writings, Lulu.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. Hi Victor! Like Lulu, I don't think I read this one? Maybe you could tell better than me! You have had some amazing adventures in life, and it's so fun that you put such a humorous spin on it all.
    Thank you for the link too!
    Ceil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Ceil,

      This book records my memoirs as best as I could remember them at the time, not in chronological order, but in order of the number of whiskies I had when I was writing them down. One thought triggered another until I fell of my chair.

      This book is particularly rare because it was written slowly so that it could last longer. I hope you enjoy it.

      God bless you.

      Delete

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